The Value of Virginity in My Javanesse Society Recently

"Alike an asset, the value of virginity in my culture today is so important. A woman in my town when walking on her life as if they carrying out a diamond. And that is what exactly the meaning of our virginity. You threat it like a property and you sell it on a wedding. Should woman value herself like that?"

I am not a part of virginity worship. I am not even the saint in my previous relationship. But I was still taking care of my own security in my previous relationship. I prefer choose security reason than value of society about virginity. I wonder, why Indonesian Boys still think that virgin woman is important? That is what I can not get it. Is it an occult of virginity?

The Belief of Relationship based on Personality
Most of boys in my hometown thinks naive whenever the time to speak about woman. 9 from 10 guy in my hometown said that a virgin woman deserve for a longer relationship ended with wedding than non-virgin woman. They put the virginity in the top of requirement to be a wife. But 9 of 10 guys that talk to me slept with their girls. What is that mean?

And the girls also think that what they have done in the previous relationship as a dark secret and tend to not telling about it. Because, they said that they live on a cultural and religion society which curse the girl who has not virgin anymore. So, they choose to pretend as if they are still virgin than telling the truth. And when the guys found out that they don't get original virginity, they are dumped by some silly and absurd reason "you are not virgin" (thanks boys for the judgment). So, everybody knows this.. it is just not talked. (ssshhh...)

Another kind of girls want to keep their virginity because they think that it is good in their environment. They keep it to satisfy their spouse, boyfriends, future boyfriends/husband, parents and neighborhood. Even tough, they know exactly that whenever the day to get married comes.... you buy a cat in a sack.

Buy a Cat in a Sack

Believe or not, most of divorce in our country dominated by discrepancy in sex. The cases in my previous law firm indicate that most couples at first always talk about their instability relationship that arise day by day. They blame their ability of their spouse to understand what they want. At the first consultation, they never mention problems in bed, but after long talking and 3-5 times of meeting, than BAM! The main problem in bed will be the main issue. Then sex harshness, and violence in family is following the next chart of the issue rank. The surprisingly evidence, after "first night" sometimes ironic feelings come after 3-5 years (or maybe more) dating the same person. You regret that. But, of course still there are many couples just fine with their spouse even you probably think "this is not what I want. But, yeaahhh... " Try to understand. Anyway, it still arise a tickling question, then why you can walking on a marriage with someone that you are not sure about? All this time, we are dealing with unexpected marriage and keep it trough just to cover ourselves from being a looser. But the truth is... You are a looser.

The Demand of Virginity

Divorces in Indonesia are pack of loosers. They avoid sex before married but they do the 2-3 times divorces under 15 years married. And who is the victim?? Of course the children. That is why, I believe that sex helps a lot in seeking the genuine character of your spouse before you get married. The touched skin will give you a different comfort from just long talking, fighting and cheating behind them in 3-5 years.

And keeping virginity is just a naive reason just to satisfy your true life husband. And do you have any idea why man is very demanding about this thing? I don't understand till now. Except, you are infected by AIDS or siphilis and stuff, there are no good reasons to cancel a wedding with non virgin girl. If the boys are asking about loyalty, of course the virginty has no dealt with that. The husbands will have the whole body for the rest of their life. What makes it not loyal? So it does not make sense to put virginity issue in loyalty demand.

And Ladies, you deserve something more than just giving your original vagina to man. Sometimes, when you think that you will keep your virginity for your true lifetime spouse, you will see... how low you put yourself in society rank. You deserve for being satisfied either which is something you never think as important matters for your own good. How could you keep your marriege if you are not satisfied? Please ladies.... start to think it through...

How long you have to keep your virginity? Then after a long sacrifice.. you get not exactly what you expect? The thing is.... sometimes you put virginity as asset just to comfort you in front of your spouse so they are comfort and safe to have you. Have you ever realize that? Is that the meaning of virginity for all these years? About a present to give to someone you really love?

For myself, I keep my virginity because .... I am not ready to feel the hurting process. There are no reason related to society value or even a present concept in my mind. I just do it because I am not ready. And whenever I am not ready for that "big action", I am not dying of marriage too. Because.... I just don't feel it is the right time. That's it.

But, I never judge sex before marriage is a bad idea or even the worst.... it is a sin. Technically, I support that... because, that is the most realistic thing to do before you are bound in a long and lifetime relationship. And Marriege for me is just for one time in my life, until the death is seperating us. (The end)